FAQ’s
We’ve organised our most frequently asked questions into some helpful categories.
Click the links below, or scroll down to browse a list of questions.
About The Marriage Course
The Marriage Course has been run in over 127 countries for over 1 million couples and consists of two courses: The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course. These courses act as a bridge between the church and the local community by recognising the need to go beyond the social, as well as physical, walls of the church to help couples with their relationships. The Marriage Course is designed to be easy for churches to run; with episodes that are available to buy and download online, along with training, guides and journals.
Currently, we have over 8,000 courses running in 127 countries, in 45 different languages.
For further information about our courses, visit our website: themarriagecourse.org
The Marriage Course was developed in 1996 by Nicky and Sila Lee (authors of The Marriage Book) for couples looking for practical support to strengthen their relationship. The course equips couples with tools and techniques to keep the spark alive and stay connected. There is no group work and each couple’s conversations are completely private. Over seven sessions, the course will help you to:
- Understand each other’s needs
- Communicate more effectively
- Grow closer by learning methods to resolve conflict
- Recover from the ways you may have hurt each other
- Recognise how your upbringing affects your relationship
- Improve relationships with parents and in-laws
- Develop greater sexual intimacy
- Discover each other’s “love language” and more.
For more information, head to: themarriagecourse.org
The Pre-Marriage Course was developed in 1985 by Nicky and Sila Lee (authors of The Marriage Book) to help couples invest in their relationship to build a lasting marriage. It is for couples who are engaged and for those exploring marriage. There is no group work and each couple’s conversations are completely private. Over five sessions, the course will help you to:
- Recognise the importance of commitment
- Understand and appreciate your differences
- Learn the art of communication
- Resolve conflict
- Spend time together
- Recognise the influence of your family background
- Develop a good sexual relationship
- Talk about your goals, values and dreams and more.
For more information, head to: themarriagecourse.org
Both The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course have a similar structure, with the environment of a date night and an emphasis on private discussions for each couple. The key difference is that The Pre-Marriage Course is for engaged couples and those considering marriage, whereas we recommend The Marriage Course for couples who have been married for at least one year. The Pre-Marriage Course can also include a Couple Survey which each guest completes in advance of the course. At the end of the course, they look at the results of their survey over a meal with a designated married ‘support couple’.
How to Run The Marriage Course
We believe that anyone who has a desire to see marriages strengthened, has experience of working at their own marriage and enjoys hosting couples can run a course. You do not need to have a perfect marriage (no one does!) or be an expert to run it. People who are single can also run the course.We have a number of short training videos that will take you through how to run The Marriage Course. Register your course on the Marriage Course Builder to access the training videos.
Yes, it is very easy! All of the talks are available online, along with a Leaders’ Guide which has instructions for when to pause for exercises and private conversations for each couple. Promotional materials and other resources are also available once you register your course on the Marriage Course Builder.
The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course act as a bridge between the church and the local community by recognising the need to go beyond the social, as well as physical, walls of the church to help couples with their relationships.In a world of increasing complexity, people more than ever need a tool to help with their relationships. The Marriage Course is designed to refresh, strengthen and, in some cases, transform relationships. The course equips couples with tools and techniques to keep the spark alive and stay connected. For couples who are engaged or wanting to explore marriage, The Pre-Marriage Course provides practical guidance on how to build strong, deep foundations that will last a lifetime. As marriages become healthier and stronger, so too does family life and this has the potential to transform entire communities.
We’ve created a video explaining in more depth why you should consider running The Marriage Course. Check it out here.
To get started running your course, please visit The Marriage Course website where you will find our more information. To access and download all the materials to help run your course, please register your course on our Marriage Course Builder. There are only a few resources you need to run The Marriage Course:
- The Marriage Course episodes – available as a DVD or to download online for free
- Two Guest Journals per couple
- The Marriage Course Leaders’ Guide
- And we recommend you watch our training videos
To access these materials to buy or download, register your course on the Marriage Course Builder.
Running sections of the course means guests don’t get the full experience or the full benefit. The course is written in a way that the different sections build upon each other and don’t work as effectively when done independently. We would recommend you run the full course as The Marriage Course, rather than just use sections.
How to Run The Pre-Marriage Course
We believe that anyone who has a desire to see relationships strengthened, has experience of working at their own marriage and enjoys hosting couples can run a course. You do not need to have a perfect marriage (no one does!) or be an expert to run it. People who are single can also run the course for couples.We have a number of short training videos that will take you through how to run The Pre-Marriage Course. Register your course on the Marriage Course Builder to access the training videos.
Yes, it is very easy! All of the talks are available online, along with a Leaders’ Guide which has instructions for when to pause for exercises and private conversations for each couple. Promotional materials and other resources are also available once you register your course on the Marriage Course Builder.
To get started running your course, please visit our website where you will find our more information. To access and download all the materials to help run your course, please register your course at Marriage Course Builder. There are only a few resources you need to run The Pre-Marriage Course:
- The Pre-Marriage Course episodes – available as a DVD or to download online for free
- Two Guest Journals per couple
- The Pre-Marriage Course Leaders’ Guide
- Couple Survey (optional)
- Support Couples’ training videos (if using the Couple Survey)
And we recommend you watch our training videos To access these materials to buy or download, register your course on the Marriage Course Builder.
The Marriage Course and Pre-Marriage Course Remake
We are excited to share that the remake of The Marriage Course is available to download online for free. The remake includes:
- 7 new episodes of The Marriage Course
- 5 new episodes of The Pre-Marriage Course
- Plus: new Guest Journals, Leaders’ Guides, training videos, and promotional materials
You can download the videos and matching resources on the Marriage Course Builder after registering your course.
There is a Leaders’ Guide for course leaders, and each guest will require their own copy of the Guest Journal to keep.The Leaders’ Guide is available to download at: themarriagecourse.org after registering your course.
To purchase Guest Journals, once you register your course on themarriagecourse.org you will be directed to a retailer in your area. If you’re not sure if Guest Journals are available to purchase where you are, please get in touch with your local Alpha office. (The Marriage Course is a part of Alpha International’s offering). If a physical copy of the Guest Journal is unavailable in your region, a digital PDF (in black-and-white) of the Guest Journal is currently available to download on the Marriage Course Builder after registering your course.
To find out if The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course have been translated into your language please visit the Marriage Course Builder or contact your local Alpha office (The Marriage Course is a part of Alpha International’s offering).
Great news! We have decided to make access to the Couple Survey free, so you will not need any Couple Survey credits to use the resource. A lot of investment has gone into making the new Couple Survey updated, more accessible and free so that it can bless more couples and churches with this ministry and allow it to reach more people.
Currently, there are no plans to create live talk scripts for The Marriage Course remake. We recommend you to give the videos a try and we will keep you in the loop if there are plans for live talk scripts in the near future.
Currently, there are no plans to create couple sofa inserts for The Marriage Course remake. We recommend you to give the videos a try and we will keep you in the loop if there are plans for live talk scripts in the near future.
How to Access Resources
The Marriage Course Builder is the section of our website where you can access the resources once you’ve registered. You can get to The Marriage Course Builder by visiting this link to watch a walkthrough video and create an account. There is no way to enter this section of our website without first creating an account. On the Marriage Course Builder (after creating your account) you will have access to all materials, training and other resources related to running The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course, including the option to buy and download the latest series. We will continuously be uploading new training resources and course materials to The Marriage Course Builder so we encourage you to please keep revisiting the platform.
The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course each have their own version of the Guest Journal. Each guest on a course requires their own Guest Journal (that’s two per couple). Find out if the new Guest Journal is available to purchase in your country. The Guest Journal is a small handbook that corresponds with the topics of each session, guiding couples’ conversations, prompting discussions, and allowing plenty of space for guests to make their own notes. The Guest Journal is created as an additional tool used to help the guest couples reflect on their relationship and the meaning of marriage, as well as to facilitate conversations between them. The Guest Journal is for each guest to keep once the course has finished.
Guest Manuals are the former name for Guest Journals, a brand-new, re-crafted version to accompany The Marriage Course remake. Guest Manuals correspond to course DVDs released before 2019. Guest Journals correspond to the new series remake, launched in January 2020. As the structure, timing, and style of the course varies significantly between the original and the remake you must use the version which matches your series, i.e. The Marriage Course remake series (launched 2020) must use Guest Journals, and the original (pre-2019 DVD) must be accompanied by the Guest Manual.
The Couple Survey is an optional series of questions to be completed by guests on The Pre-Marriage Course before the course begins. The purpose of the Couple Survey is to:
- Affirm areas of strength
- Highlight those issues the couple needs to discuss
- Help them make sure they are ready for marriage
- Give a realistic view of what makes a marriage work
Couples do not receive the results of their Couple Survey. Instead following the course they have a discussion with a designated Support Couple. The Couple Survey report guides the conversation, affirming areas of strength in the couple’s relationship and highlighting issues for discussion. For more information on the Couple Survey, please visit here.
You will be able to access the Couple Survey once you have created your account and registered your course on the Marriage Course Builder in the section of the website we refer to as The Marriage Course Builder. On The Marriage Course Builder, you will also find short training videos that equip Support Couples to interpret the Couple Survey report. (These training videos can also be found here). There is no Couple Survey for The Marriage Course; it is only to accompany The Pre-Marriage Course. For more information on the Couple Survey, please visit here.
If your Pre-Marriage course is using the Couple Survey, your course organiser or coordinator will email you a Couple Survey to fill out before the course begins. You and your partner should fill the Couple Survey out separately without consulting each other and then, after the course, you will have a scheduled appointment with a support couple who will go through your survey report with you both.
Each couple on The Pre-Marriage Course is allocated a support couple. The requirements for support couples are simply that they are married; that they have completed The Marriage Course; that they are happy to host a couple from The Pre-Marriage Course, usually in their home, over an evening and that they have been approved by someone with pastoral oversight (see the sample form that can be downloaded from The Marriage Course Builder for this signed approval). During the evening the Support Couple guides the guests in conversation using the findings of the Couple Survey, which the guests would have completed before the start of the course.
The role of the support couple is to affirm areas of strength and highlight issues the couple needs to discuss. The Couple Survey report is very easy to use, with suggested follow-up questions for the Support Couple to ask the guest couple to facilitate the discussion.Once you register your course, you’ll be able to access dedicated training videos for support couples which fully explain their role. Head to https://themarriagecourse.org/the-marriage-course-builder to get started. (Training videos are also available here). There is no Couple Survey or Support Couple role for The Marriage Course. It is designed only to accompany The Pre-Marriage Course.
The Marriage Book was written by Nicky and Sila Lee, founders of The Marriage Course and is available to buy in the UK at shop.alpha.org You can also find it on Amazon, as well as an ebook version, suitable for Kindle. We are currently working on publishing a new edition of The Marriage Book, scheduled to be released Spring 2020.
Currently, there are no plans to create live talk scripts for The Marriage Course remake. We recommend you give the videos a try and we will keep you in the loop if there are plans for live talk scripts in the near future.
There are no current plans to refilm the TMC party segment. However, we have a variety of great videos and clips available on Youtube that can be used to equip you and your churches to invite as many new guests to The Marriage Course as possible. Currently, the TMC trailer is a very useful video to show to potential guests: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qba2wYpXgUs and we will soon be uploading other clips onto The Marriage Course Builder for you to download.
There are no current plans to refilm the ‘Coping with Times of Separation’ session. We know the session has been very helpful for many couples over the years. However, we are confident that the tools in The Marriage Course remake are relevant for any couple in any situation, including working through a time of separation that they may face due to work or other life situations.
Select countries do offer The Marriage Course on DVD. Please refer to your local Alpha office’s website for more details. If you are interested in using the 2020 version of The Marriage Course, the fastest and most-recommended way to access them is to download the online episodes on the Marriage Course Builder.
You can access all of our latest training videos on the Marriage Course Builder. To access these videos you must first create your account.
We are currently working on a few playlists to recommend – watch out for this space!
The main thing is that it is loud enough to ensure the conversations for each couple stay private, but not so loud that couples need to shout. To find out more about setting the mood for your course, check out the Leaders’ Guide, available on the Marriage Course Builder once you register your course.
Our resources are originally created in English. The process of translation is then arranged by our teams in each region. To find out if The Marriage Course is available in your language or if there are plans to translate it, please get in touch with your local Alpha office who will be able to help (The Marriage Course is a part of Alpha International’s offering).
Head to the Marriage Course Builder and create an account, and you’ll automatically be directed to the relevant information for accessing resources in your region. If you’re in the UK, you can access print resources at shop.alpha.org. For other countries, please visit this page for further details on accessing resources in your area. If you’re still having trouble finding resources in your area, please get in touch with your local Alpha office who will be happy to help (The Marriage Course is a part of Alpha International’s offering).
If a couple miss a session, we recommend that you upload the episode that they’ve missed to a video storage site or drive, such as Vimeo or Google Drive, and share the link with the couple. Please make sure to make the video private, with a password protection, so that only those you share it with directly are able to view it.
Trying The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course
We would love any couple to feel welcome to attend The Marriage Course, whether married or in a long-term, cohabitating relationship. The Pre-Marriage Course is ideal for engaged couples, newlyweds, or couples exploring the idea of marriage.
While The Marriage Course is based on Christian principles, it is designed for couples with or without a Christian faith. We would love any couple to feel welcome to attend it whether or not they have a Christian faith or any religious faith at all. We are confident all couples will find the courses relevant and helpful for their relationship.
To find a course near you, visit our Course Finder and search by country, city, or area code. If you’re having trouble finding a course where you are, please get in touch with your local Alpha office who will be happy to help (The Marriage Course is a part of Alpha International’s offering).
If you’ve been cohabiting for more than 2 years and are not engaged or considering marriage, we recommend you try The Marriage Course. If you’ve been married for less than a year and you are not aware of any major issues to address, it’s a great idea to attend The Pre-Marriage Course.
Yes. To get the most out of The Marriage Course and The Pre-Marriage Course we recommend you try to come to every session, but if you do miss one you could always ask the course organiser to catch you up by sending you the missed session’s episode. You can then work through it with your Guest Journals in your own time. (We do not recommend you attempt to do the whole course on your own like this – see the question ‘Can a couple do The Marriage Course/The Pre-Marriage Course on their own?’)
The Marriage Course takes place over seven sessions. These are usually run weekly and on an evening. Each session includes food, a talk on the session’s topic, and space for private conversations.
There are seven sessions of The Marriage Course, looking at the following topics:
- Strengthening Connection
- The Art of Communication
- Resolving Conflict
- The Power of Forgiveness
- The Impact of Family
- Good Sex
- Love in Action
For more information, head to themarriagecourse.org
The Pre-Marriage Course takes place over five sessions. These are usually on one evening every week. Each session includes:
- food
- a talk on the session’s topic
- space for private conversations
The course can also be combined with the Couple Survey, which the couples complete before the course, and then an evening with a married Support Couple following the course to look at their Couple Survey report.
There are five sessions to The Pre-Marriage Course:
- Communication
- Conflict
- Commitment
- Connection
- Adventure
For more information, head to themarriagecourse.org
A session of The Marriage Course or The Pre-Marriage Course should have the environment of a date-night: relaxed, romantic, and private. We ask our course leaders to make the evening as welcoming as possible. When you arrive at your course you should be seated at your own table for two, as we believe each couple should have privacy and not have to share anything about your relationship with anyone other than your partner. You should be served a meal in a romantic setting while listening to practical talks that are informative and fun. Background music will ensure that you have complete privacy for your conversations. Arrangements will vary from course to course depending on where it is being held and who is running it, but this is how we recommend the evening be set up. Watch this video to get more of an idea of what a session on The Marriage Course may be like.For more information, head to themarriagecourse.org
We don’t recommend doing The Marriage Course by yourselves as it is much better when run in a facilitated environment (see the question ‘Can a couple do The Marriage Course on their own?) If you are not able to attend The Marriage Course, we suggest you contact your church leader, if relevant, and ask if they would be able to facilitate the course. Alternatively, you could look into running the course with a group of friends. Many churches are offering the course online now.
If you are not able to attend The Pre-Marriage Course, we suggest you contact the person marrying you and ask if they would be able to facilitate the course and identify a couple who could perhaps act as your Support Couple. If you are engaged and are living in different countries, it is possible to do The Pre-Marriage Course by watching the films simultaneously and pausing for your conversations via Skype or FaceTime. You will each need to have a Guest Journal to facilitate your conversations. You are also able to do the Couple Survey if you are separated like this and to have an online meeting with a married Support Couple to go through your Couple Survey report. For more information, head to themarriagecourse.org
As our courses are not accredited by individuals or organisations, we do not issue certificates to couples after our courses. However, we have provided a template for course leaders to verify you have completed the course, which is available when they register their course on the Marriage Course Builder.
After the course, it is important that as a couple, you continue to put into practice what you’ve learned to help keep your marriage strong and healthy. For ideas, visit this page.
Sometimes couples require additional help. As a first step, we recommend you ask your course leader for a referral. They can often recommend someone suited to your needs and based near you.